


Deo Volente

by sirbartonslady



Series: Innocent Sorrow [3]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-14
Updated: 2012-05-14
Packaged: 2017-11-05 08:20:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirbartonslady/pseuds/sirbartonslady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While maintaining his discreet romance with Lavi, Allen struggles to combat other feelings that arise; meanwhile, some of their friends return from a mission near death, and warnings come that their hideout may soon be betrayed...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deo Volente

**Author's Note:**

> This story is over four years old; it was originally published on March 16, 2008. As such, it is very, very far from current with the manga storyline. I consider this story and the others in its series to be slightly AU from the actual canon due to how canon deviated after the story was written. However, this series of stories is one of my favorites of anything I've written, so I'm willing to bring it over here.
> 
> The series was originally written deliberately to be a series of one-shots. That is why the first four stories are not chaptered; please do not tell me to just turn them into one multi-chaptered fic. I decided long ago that I would not do that, and I have no intentions of doing so now.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any part of "D. Gray-man" or its characters. It all belongs to the brilliant Katsura Hoshino-sensei. I'm just playing in the sandbox of this beautiful and complex world.

"Oi, Allen! Stop moving around so much!" The red-haired Exorcist grumbled, thumping his impromptu pillow gently.

"Then go lay on your own bed, if you want to sleep, idiot," Allen Walker said in a slightly peeved tone. "I have to get this report done, and you're not helping at all."

"Mmm." Lavi murmured indolently and rolled over, twining an arm around Allen's leg. Allen fought down a prudent blush at how intimate the gesture was, even considering their relationship. "Naah, I like my current pillow," he said with a lazy grin. "Much nicer than that bag of rocks I have over there." He jerked his chin in the general direction of his bed. He then rubbed his cheek against Allen's thigh, which he had until now been using as a pillow while he dozed. "Mmm, leather. Kinky."

"Mind out of gutter, please, thank you," Allen grumped. "And your uniform isn't much different from mine, you know."

Lavi just snickered and relaxed his limbs; in short order, his breathing returned to the long, shallow breaths of somnolence. Allen prodded him. "Don't drool on my pants either! Use me as a pillow if you must, but don't drool on me."

"Yeah, yeah," Lavi murmured sleepily. "Don't bug me, I have another patrol in less than an hour."

Allen didn't make a response to that, though he had a perfectly good retort in mind about who was bugging whom. Not that it mattered; arguing with Lavi over semantics or technicalities was by default a pointless and losing argument.

It still made him uncomfortable to see Lavi head off to his city-wide patrols every four to six hours (four during the daytime, six after nightfall). Even though he knew Lavi was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, and was within easy reach of the hideout at all times, it still bothered him to see his beloved be put in such danger at such regular intervals. But with so few Exorcists now, and with the present status of the war with the Millennium Earl at critical levels, there was little choice.

Though he tried to drive the thoughts from his mind by attempting to focus on his report, Allen was still worried, and a bit confused yet. It had been only a little over two weeks since his friendship with Lavi had undergone a dramatic evolution into something considerably more intimate and tender. This wasn't to say that they could really consider themselves lovers. They hadn't reached that point of intimacy yet, partly because Allen was still at war with his own feelings. He didn't doubt that he adored Lavi, but he didn't want to risk irreparable damage to their friendship should this impromptu romance fade.

Lavi seemed quite content with their relationship where it was, insisting that it was enough that Allen loved him. Still, Allen didn't expect that his ataraxia would last forever. At the moment, their duties kept them both busy and preoccupied, making it difficult to catch much time alone, and with the insistence of their superiors on their absolute discretion, the only time they could really let down the facade of mere friendship was in the privacy of their shared dormitory.

This of course made any form of "courtship" quite impossible. It also kept them too busy to really consider taking their romance to another level.

Allen shook those thoughts from his mind and returned his attention to his report. It was a dismal report at best -- Kanda Yuu and Noise Marie had returned from Sicily empty-handed, after discovering that the reports of Innocence had been deliberately false. They had encountered a hoard of Level Three Akuma laying in wait. One could only presume that the whole thing had been concocted by a Noah, but that the Noah had chosen to not reveal himself or herself.

Arystar Krory and Miranda Lotto still had not returned from their mission in Berlin, and all contact with them had ceased. Allen knew he shouldn't worry about them, but it was hard not to. They were both very dear friends of his, and the knowledge that Kanda and Marie's mission had been a set-up by the enemy had Allen worried that Krory and Miranda were headed directly for a trap.

"Mooooooron," Lavi drawled, reaching up and swiping the pen from Allen's hand to illustrate his point. "You're spacing out again. Stop doodling on your report, beansprout."

"I'm not doodling, idiot," Allen said mildly, wondering at what point he and Lavi had devolved into constantly insulting each other as a means of expressing affection. Lavi calling him "beansprout" was akin to his nickname of "Kro-chan" for Krory, except that he was essentially stealing Kanda's derogatory nickname, and using it in the most tender fashion possible. "My handwriting is better than yours, though you claim to be a historian!"

"Bookmen and historians are two different things, you know. And I don't think the officials are going to want to look at your crappy doodles when they read your report."

"They're not doodles, dammit!"

"They're also not part of your report. Don't make me distract you further!" His eyebrow danced mischievously.

Allen planted the palm of his right hand in Lavi's face, pushing him away. With his left hand, he plucked the pen from Lavi's fingers and resumed work on his report. "I don't need your help, Lavi. You're of no help at all like this. I need to get this done."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you, silly." Lavi rolled off the bed and to his feet. "Well, I'm not going to be getting any more rest, so I might as well get the jump on that patrol. Get it over with. I'll be back in an hour."

"Well, I probably won't be here when you get back. I've got a teleconference with General Socalo in an hour," Allen said. "At least we've got the Generals keeping in touch now."

"Except for Cross," Lavi said as he pulled on his coat and the long woolen cloak he generally wore swaddled over his uniform these days during his patrols.

Allen grunted. " _He_ can stay away for all I care. Oh, before you go, here -- " He tossed a paper-wrapped package at Lavi. "Give that to Timcanpy as you leave. It keeps him happy. Make sure you unwrap it for him, though."

"Sandwich?" Lavi said incredulously. "One you haven't devoured yet? Amazing! Actually, what's even more amazing is probably where the hell Tim puts this stuff. This thing's easily four times his size."

"Don't forget your wireless golem," Allen added as Lavi pulled on his gloves.

"Yes, yes, dear, as you wish," the redhead chuckled. "Honestly, I'm a big boy. I can handle myself." He mimed a mock salute as he opened the door and stepped through.

As the door closed behind him, Allen sighed and plunged his thoughts into his report. He was almost done, dammit. He just needed to document Catherine Dessaseaux's current synchronization rate, and note down Lenalee Lee's lack of progress with her re-synchronization. It was really hard now without Hevlaska around. The nonhuman Exorcist who had guarded Innocence for decades was still in the original Black Order headquarters, attempting to prevent its total destruction, though she no longer held any Innocence anymore -- all Innocence within her had been divvied up between the four Generals. Because Allen had surpassed the so-called "Critical Point" (achieving beyond a hundred percent synchronization with his Innocence) he now had the ability of the other Generals to sense a relative synchronization and compatibility rate, though no one was as accurate as Hevlaska.

As he put the finishing touches on his report, Allen's inner prankster got the better of him and he decided to see if anyone noticed a little extra ribbing. He added a few words at the end of the report. " _Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam_." He grinned to himself and folded up the report. If Komui was paying attention, he'd notice and say something. Of anyone in the entire Order, Allen knew Komui was fluent in Latin, being an all-around Scientist of the highest praise. Anyone who ascended the ranks in the Black Order that quick had to have the backing of considerable science communities and the Vatican. And the only way to effectively communicate with everyone was with Latin.

Allen shuffled some more papers together and stood up. As he did, Lavi's battered old scarf fell from his lap to the ground. Lavi usually wore the scarf outside the hideout. He must have forgotten it today. Allen picked it up and tossed it over his shoulder, deciding on the spot to keep it with him.

He stepped out into the hallway and headed down it toward room 135, where the Chief Supervisor resided with his sister. He knocked briskly on the door and waited.

The door opened promptly, and Allen came face to face with Lenalee Lee, one of his closest friends and until recently someone he'd harbored occasional private romantic designs on. Her once-long black hair -- which had been burned off almost to her scalp after a harrowing encounter with a sturdy Level Three, which had nearly ended her life and had cost her almost all of her synchronization with her Innocence -- was growing out sporadically. She looked rough-and-tumble, and almost tomboyish with her scraggled hair.

"Good morning, Allen," she smiled brightly. "What brings you here?"

"I finished this report that Komui asked me to write up."

"Ah. Brother! Allen's here with a report for you!" She called over her shoulder. Then she opened the door wider and gestured Allen in. "Come on in, Allen. Don't mind the mess, this is normal for my brother."

Allen refrained from stating that he knew that. He was doing his best to ignore the fact that Lenalee was in a fuzzy white bathrobe that was a few sizes too big for her. It was most likely one that belonged to her brother, since the sleeves were too long and the hem of the robe dragged on the floor.

It wasn't her clothing that was bothering Allen, though he felt she was being a bit imprudent about it. What bothered him was his internal reaction.

_I shouldn't still be attracted to her_ , he thought. _Didn't I decide that I'm in love with Lavi? Why am I still uncomfortable around Lenalee like this?_

He moved over to a small sofa and took a seat while Lenalee jostled her napping brother, who looked more passed out than napping, splayed as he was across his messy desk.

Komui surfaced from the sea of papers rather like a drowning man, gasping for air. Allen jolted out of his reverie as he passed his report to Lenalee, who handed it to her brother. The Supervisor looked terrible, now that Allen got a look at him. His eyes were sunken in and bagged. His hair stuck out in weird shapes.

Allen waited until Komui had looked over the report, waiting to see if the Supervisor would catch his joke at the end. Sure enough, Komui's eyebrows twitched as his eyes reached the bottom of the report. "Allen, that's really not something you should be joking about."

"These reports are a pain, Komui," Allen grumbled. "I say the same things in them. I _feel_ like Cato."

Lenalee blinked uncomprehendingly. Allen stifled a grin. He wasn't fluent in Latin itself or anything; he was just versed in a number of Latin proverbs thanks to Mana and to his Master.

Komui took a long pull at his coffee and fixed his eyes on Allen; "So, Catherine's synchronization rate has stalled?"

"Yeah. I also can't quite figure out her weapon. The form is that of a crystal bottle. It looks kind of like a perfume bottle. She can change its size, but I'm not understanding how it's useful as a weapon. I keep telling her to ask her Innocence what its powers are, but she just stares at me blankly."

"Hmm," Komui closed his eyes to think, and for a moment Allen wondered if he'd dozed off again. The Supervisor looked horribly sleep-deprived.

The wireless golem flapping indolently nearby suddenly came alive with static. Then Lavi's voice was heard over its air-waves. "HEEEY! I need back-up! Medical back-up!"

Lenalee grabbed the golem and responded; "Lavi! What's wrong! Akuma, or Noah?"

"Neither," Lavi's voice responded. "Kro-chan and Miranda are back, and they're in bad shape!"

Allen was out the door and down the hall at a dead run before anyone could say otherwise. His heart was almost in his mouth. He'd had a bad feeling about the whole Berlin mission for a quite a while, ever since Kanda had wired back to their base that he and Marie were in the process of fighting their way free from an ambush trap. The fact that both reports -- Sicily and Berlin -- had come in at the same time and had been similar, made Allen worry that both of them had been false, for the sake of ambushing Exorcists. Kanda and his partner had returned with only a few scrapes and a twisted shoulder to show for their harrowing mission.

Both Kanda Yuu and Noise Marie were unflappable Exorcists; no matter how grave a situation, they always maintained absolute sangfroid. Krory and Miranda, on the other hand, were both new to the Order, and both were easily flustered in stressful situations. Miranda's Innocence was strictly defensive -- she really couldn't use it against Akuma on her own, except to pin them into place. Krory was extremely tough and durable, having survived a number of injuries that should have been fatal, but even he wasn't infallible.

Allen became aware of other footsteps right behind his as he ran for the hideout entrance. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Catherine a few strides behind him, and behind her were several members of the medical department, with Reever Wenhamm, the team leader of the science department, bringing up the rear.

Briefly, it occurred to Allen that he hadn't bothered to wait for Lavi to reveal his present location, before diving headlong into the corridors. Just as quickly, he discarded that. Lavi's patrol had only just commenced -- he couldn't be far from the hideout entrance.

As he vaulted up the steps, taking them two and three steps at a time, he tried to calm his frenzied mind. This was the first time in two weeks that Lavi had called for backup. That he called now was, in and of itself, quite alarming. And since Lavi was not given to hyperbole, one could only assume that he meant it when he said that their companions were in bad shape.

"You're so slow, Beansprout," growled a familiar sour voice, just as Allen managed to reach the front door and lunge through. Immediately after him came Kanda and Marie, followed by Catherine and the medical corps. Allen didn't have time to wonder when Kanda and Marie had arrived on the scene.

There was a fountain about fifteen meters from the entrance. It wasn't much of one, but it was a fountain. That was where the three Exorcists were currently situated. Krory had Miranda in his arms, and looked as though he'd probably carried her the entire way from Berlin. Miranda, for her part, was barely conscious, but her Innocence was active. The ethereal lights of her Time Record Recovery were spinning vigorously on the weapon itself. Lavi was trying to coax Krory to sit down, but Miranda was preventing the baron from setting her down.

Allen glanced over at Catherine. "Why did you come?"

"I don't know -- I just felt like I had to. I can be of use, you know. I was a competent nurse before I came here. I can be of help, even if my Innocence won't do anything."

Kanda and Marie spoke briefly to Lavi, and set off in opposite directions; Allen presumed that they had offered to take the patrol for the current slot.

Miranda was hysterical. She wasn't even making any sense; the only thing that was clear was that she absolutely refused to release her Innocence, and she feared that if she was parted physically from Krory, that he would end up outside the circle of her Innocence's power. It was obvious to anyone with any experience with Innocence that Miranda was near the end of her strength, that she was on the verge of sustaining irreparable damage from this kind of invocation.

Lenalee appeared at Allen's elbow; Allen barely had time to register that she was there before she had forced her way forward and was trying to grab Miranda's arm. "Miranda! Stop the invocation! You'll hurt yourself! You're safe now!"

"If I stop it now, he'll die!" Miranda wailed. "I don't want to watch another person die -- I don't want another death on my Innocence! I won't do it! I won't let another person I love die!"

"I thought you were immune to the Akuma blood-virus," Lavi said to Krory, who was visibly flagging, despite Miranda's Innocence still attempting to revitalize him.

"Only so long as my Innocence has any strength left. When it wears out, I am just as vulnerable as anyone." The Romanian baron then, ignoring Miranda's protests, set her down, sinking to his knees in fatigue after doing so.

Allen's attention was seized by Catherine, who was standing next to the fountain, her Innocence bottle in her hands. She looked completely rapt. But what really held Allen's attention was that he could see that she was synchronizing with the Innocence, at a much higher rate than before. Inexplicably, she dipped the bottle into the fountain's pool, and then she approached Krory and Miranda.

"If it is my time to go," Krory was saying, trying to calm Miranda, "then I will go with my head held high. I do not regret anything. I am sure that someday in the afterlife I will meet up with Eliade again. Stop blaming yourself. I took those attacks fully knowing that this might happen."

"Miranda," Catherine said in a soft, soothing voice, "please release your invocation. I won't let Krory die."

Miranda was inconsolable, clinging to Krory's collar and sobbing that she didn't want to see anyone else die because of her Innocence. Allen and Lenalee forcibly pried her from the baron, and Catherine interposed herself in between. Miranda's strength ran out and her invocation released.

Immediately upon release of the Time Recovery, Krory pitched forward onto his hands, retching and coughing up splats of dark blood. His skin began to show the pentacles of Akuma blood-poisoning. Lenalee forcibly swallowed a cry of anguish at seeing him so distressed, but Catherine seemed to be almost in her element (and her synchronization rate was still climbing, Allen noted).

"Innocence, Activate."

The bottle illuminated upon invocation. Catherine moved almost as if in a trance -- perhaps directed by her Innocence? -- and unstoppered the bottle, moving to Krory's side and tilting his head back. She then poured some of the water from the bottle into his mouth. A little bit splashed out onto his jaw, and the pentacles that the water touched receded almost instantly.

After a few moments, the pentacles faded and disappeared. The virus had been overcome.

"The power of his Innocence is in his blood, isn't it?" Catherine inquired. "That happened a lot faster than I expected."

"His fangs are his physical Innocence," Lavi said, blinking incredulously. "That's... your Innocence is amazing, Catherine!"

"Is it?" Catherine rubbed her face tiredly. "I always thought yours was pretty incredible, Lavi, the way you can manipulate natural elements."

"Damn, I stick with you and I won't have to get vampired again if I get hit by an Akuma!"

Allen glared at him. "Don't joke about that kind of thing, Lavi."

Catherine's synchronization rate seemed to cap and recede a bit. Still, it was enough; Allen couldn't put a numerical value to it, but she was probably somewhere in the range that Lavi was with his. Which meant she was now synchronized enough to go with General Klaud and learn to become an Exorcist.

Catherine looked up; "I've stopped the poisoning, but he still needs intensive first aid, I think there's some hemorrhaging. He's anemic." She surrendered Krory to the medical staff and leaned against the stone foundation of the fountain. "Oh god, my head hurts."

"Don't push yourself, Catherine," Allen said gently, offering her some support. "You just synchronized at a much higher rate than you're used to. Your body's going to be a bit tired after that."

"How did you know what to do?" Lenalee murmured in amazement, still trying to console Miranda, who was now sobbing with relief.

"I... I don't know. I just had this urge to fill the bottle with water, and then somehow I just knew that I had to invoke it and use the water..."

"Very impressive," Reever said as he approached. "So your Innocence has healing properties?"

"I guess." She then chuckled tiredly. "Perhaps I should name it Eau de Vie?"

"Or Aqua Vitae," Allen suggested. "If you're so inclined, anyway."

Any further discussion was forestalled by a rather ill-timed reaction of Allen's left eye. The monocle sprang into formation and the eye turned black and red.

Lavi was the first to react, activating his hammer and swinging it up. "Get back to the hideout, all of you! Allen, how far are they?"

Allen searched frantically as he helped the medical team move Krory back to the barrier created by Maria's Magdala Curtain. Maria's maximum range was ten meters; the fountain fell outside her boundaries.

"Dammit, they're almost on top of us. I can't quite tell how many, but there's quite a few of them. They're on the other side of Maria's Curtain, that's why I didn't notice them before!"

They managed to slip into the safe zone just in time as a horde of Level Threes arrived.

"Allen, wait!" Reever grabbed onto Allen's arm as he started to breach the barrier again, to join Lavi in the battle. "You're not supposed to engage the enemy unless it's absolutely necessary. We don't want your location revealed."

"What the hell!" Allen gaped. "These are LEVEL THREES! Those aren't easy prey!"

"I got them," Lavi said with a smirk. "I told you, I'm not a pushover. I can handle this. Yuu and Marie are nearby too, and I'm sure Marie will hear all this and come post-haste. You just stay there and watch." He grinned bloodthirstily as the Level Threes arrived and circled around him. "Well, well, what have we here?"

"We found you," one of the Akuma said. "It's only a matter of time before we find your little rat's-nest."

The redhead tipped his hammer and leaned it against his shoulder, as if indulging the Akuma. Allen stood at the very edge of the barrier, his Crown Clown claws twitching in anxiety. _Dammit, Lavi, don't play games with them. Just get rid of them._

Lavi didn't glance at Allen, but he made a gesture that seemed as though he'd heard Allen -- though Allen was careful not to utter a sound -- and grasped onto the handle of his hammer. "Well, boys, I hate to disrupt your fun, but I'm busy. I'm afraid you're going to have to be my guinea pigs."

Guinea pigs?

There were four Level Threes, now that Allen had a chance to ascertain what was going on. It looked like all four had recently cannibalized other Akuma, which would account for there seeming to be more -- there were more souls apparently bound to these ones, though the bindings were tenuous at best and wouldn't last more than a few more hours.

Lavi raised the hammer. The air coalesced into the seals revolving rapidly around him. "Thank you, Marie. Good timing, as always."

"I heard them coming," Noise Marie said flatly from where he crouched nearby, his Innocence strings pinning the four Akuma in place. Kanda Yuu had his sword Mugen drawn, but not yet activated.

"Yuu, back off. These are mine," Lavi added as the seals began to spin faster. " **Water Circle! Wind Circle!** " The seal for Water combined with a hazy seal for Wind -- a seal that Lavi had not completely unlocked -- and formed a new seal. " **Combination Seal!** " Lavi slammed the hammer's head through the combination seal. " **Drowning Maelstrom!** "

From the combination seal erupted a huge watery vortex, whirling around Lavi's feet. The water then roared up and split into four columns, each one twisting around one of the Akuma.

"Sloppy as always," Kanda grumbled and activated his weapon. " **Mugen, bring forth calamity! Hell's Insects, First Illusion!** " With a violent slash, he sent the hellish maggots (or whatever they were, Allen had never bothered to pay attention) streaming at the Akuma; at the same time, Marie activated his technique, causing the Akuma bound in the wires to vibrate in time to the melody played by his Innocence, Noel Organon, a melody that was fatal to all Akuma. The combination of three high-level attacks one-after-another had the desired effect -- the Akuma all erupted into a shower of twisted metal and blood.

"Messy!" Lavi grumbled, sidestepping some of the debris. "Bleh!"

"Idiot," Kanda snarled. "You're the one unleashing an unfinished maneuver. Stop trying to show off for the Beansprout, before you give away our position. Damned one-eyed joker. You'll be the death of us all."

"I prefer the Ace of Spades," Lavi grinned. "And I wasn't showing off for the 'Beansprout' either. I wanted to see if it'd work."

"Impulsive bratty upstart," said a gravelly old familiar voice as the elderly Bookman rounded a corner and stood, glaring appraisingly at Lavi. "Where on earth did all this foolhardy brashness come from? Are you a bookman or not?"

"Gramps!" Lavi looked delighted to see the old man, despite the scathing greeting he'd gotten. "Welcome back."

"Don't 'welcome back' me, you moron! You're going to be giving away our hideout if you don't stop trying to show off!" The old man was beside Lavi, pinching and twisting his ear in discipline. Lavi yelped in surprise.

"Kanda, can you and Marie take over the patrol for now?" Komui's voice inquired over the wireless golem next to the Japanese swordsman. "I think I'm going to need Lavi."

Kanda grunted noncommittally. Marie obliged the response; "Yes, Supervisor, we can do that."

"Thank you. Be careful."

Allen motioned for Lavi to precede him down the stairs into the hideout. When Lavi hesitated, Allen glowered at him; "You guys won't let me fight; the least I can do is watch your back for you!"

Bookman shooed them both on. "Go on, both of you. Bah, kids. Now I remember why I never had any of my own. Raising _you_ was more than enough, Lavi!"

"Yeah, yeah, same to you, Panda!" Lavi vanished into the darkness of the entry corridor. Allen followed after him.

As they descended into the underground fortress, Allen turned his head to pitch his voice over his shoulder. "Bookman, how did you know where to find us? I thought Maria's Curtain was keeping us invisible."

"That brat's attacks aren't subtle," Bookman retorted, implying Lavi quite obviously with his voice, though no gestures were visible in this all-consuming darkness. "And I was given the exact coordinates of the hideout entrance before I left for Turino. I didn't actually _see_ it until I entered the Curtain, but I knew it was here."

They emerged into a regular corridor, this one lit with low-burning candles in brass sconces. Komui was there, with Lenalee and Reever, crouched beside Miranda, who was huddled against the wall, shuddering violently. Komui looked up when their shadows fell across him. His eyes widened momentarily when he spied Bookman's silhouette. "Ah, Bookman! Thank goodness you're back! We can use your help. Krory is in very bad shape. It appears there's only so much that Catherine's Innocence can do; it seems to mainly neutralize the Akuma blood-virus."

Bookman nodded. "This Catherine is the new Exorcist that General Klaud found?"

"Yes. Apparently her Innocence is a supportive invocation, like Miranda's. It has the ability to neutralize the Akuma blood-virus on contact. It's not really helping to heal wounds though. It appears he has some massive internal damage."

"Miss Lena, please show me to the medic ward," Bookman said to Lenalee.

As the two of them departed, Allen was about to ask Miranda what had happened to have her so badly shaken, even over Krory's injury, when suddenly he felt a familiar weight on his head.

"Timcanpy?" He glanced up, and was rewarded with just barely seeing the tips of the golden golem's wings. Then the soft tail wrapped around Allen's forehead and draped between his eyes.

"What's it doing here?" Lavi inquired. "Isn't it supposed to be staying with Maria?"

"Yeah," Allen reached up and plucked the golem from his hair. "Tim, why are you here?"

"Stupid apprentice," growled a leonine voice from behind them. Allen instantly went rigid with apprehension. No matter what, that voice always struck fear into his heart. General Cross Marian, his teacher, was as close to a hated ally as anyone could come. Allen didn't truly hate any human (though some of the Noah came pretty damned close) but if ever he were to hate an ally, Cross Marian was that one.

"General Cross," Lavi started. "What -- "

"You're going to have to pack up soon and leave, this won't last," Cross said, ignoring Lavi, speaking directly to Komui. "The Earl seems to be interested in this little void of space. The constant Curtain is getting his attention simply because it's the one place he knows he can't look."

Komui sighed. "I was afraid of that. Where do we go next? The Vatican?"

"Bad idea."

Allen sidled out and away. He grasped Lavi's arm surreptitiously and drew him aside. "Let's get out of here. I don't want to be anywhere near him right now."

"Okay..." Lavi seemed a bit confused. "Does he scare you that much even now?"

"I'm not scared, I just don't want to be around him. He pisses me off." He lowered his voice as they moved away toward their room. "Besides, I want you alone."

"You might want to let go of my arm, Allen," the redhead snickered. "I'm following you, no worries. I'm not going to dart out at the last minute."

Allen ignored that, dragging Lavi along behind him as he strode purposefully for their room. Lavi just submitted to it, figuring it was safest to just humor him.

As they reached their dormitory (if it could even be called that), Allen stormed into the room, hauling Lavi in as well.

"Allen, are you mad at me? Did I do something to piss you off?"

"What?"

"You're acting like you're angry with me."

"Not you," Allen replied, turning to his beloved and embracing him. "At Master. The more I think about him, the angrier I get. I need a distraction, and you fit that bill quite nicely."

"Mmm." Lavi put a finger to Allen's lips, to stop him from kissing him. "Nice idea, but I have a couple of questions before we get to that."

"What?"

Lavi gave him a gentle push toward his bed, and moved over to his own, flopping down onto it emphatically. Allen sat on his bed and looked expectantly at Lavi, who was now arranging himself in a cross-legged position. The room fell silent for an unbearable couple of minutes. Finally, Lavi spoke, and his voice was soft but firm.

"Why the sudden complete lack of faith in me?"

"Huh?"

"You don't seem to like to let me out of your sight anymore. I'm not a weakling, Allen. I can take care of myself. You don't need to protect me, fight my fights for me. I'm an Exorcist too, I can handle myself. I appreciate your concern for me, but I will not tolerate being coddled. Inside the Ark, you let me fight beside you, counted on me. You got pretty badly beaten up in that thing too; we all did. I didn't get weaker after that whole thing was over, you know. You trusted my abilities before. So why do you not trust me anymore?"

Allen heaved a sigh as he looked at the floor in the middle of the small room, unable to look him in the eye. "I... I just don't want to lose you, Lavi."

"Don't give me that, Allen, that's not what I asked."

"You asked why, I told you why."

"Bullshit." Lavi was getting angry. "That's not _why_ you don't trust me, Allen. That's your justification. I want to know _why_ you think I'm so weak that you have to protect me."

"I don't think you're weak at all, Lavi. I just don't want to lose you, and I'd rather take the hits than see you take them."

"Why? Do you really think you're that much stronger than me? Maximum synchronization be damned, I can still outfight you hand-to-hand, you know!"

"Yes, I do know that. I know that probably better than you realize, Lavi," Allen said quietly, looking at the door. "You probably don't remember when Road had you attack me. But you had me at an overwhelming disadvantage. You also said some pretty harsh things, but mainly you just slapped me all over the place. You say that I got pretty beat up inside the Ark, and I'm not going to deny it. However... _you_ had quite a bit to do with that. You're strong, you can take care of yourself, and I am not about to deny that."

Lavi's jaw dropped a bit; "Wait..." His forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Then why are you so worried about me?"

Allen turned his head sharply, narrowing his eyes at Lavi; "The last time I got so attached to a single person, he died, and his death cut me to the quick. In fact, I was so lost without him, _I turned him into an Akuma_. I've been afraid to get too close to anyone ever since. I don't ever want to lose someone so precious to me again."

Lavi just stared at him owlishly, completely dumbstruck.

"I told you, Lavi," Allen continued. "I _love_ you. I don't know why, or when it happened, but it happened. You've become so important to me, I can't bear to face life without you right now. Even the abstract prospect of it makes my heart hurt."

That had an impact. Lavi hemmed and hawed a bit, then finally coughed; "Goddamn, you got me. I don't know what to say to that. Look, Allen, just... stop coddling me."

Allen looked away. "I can't promise that, Lavi. And I don't want to be less than perfectly honest with you."

Lavi chuckled finally; "Okay, if that's how you feel, then... Then don't get mad at me if I occasionally kick your ass about it. Because I'm serious, I won't tolerate you coddling me. If you don't mind my thumping you upside the head for it, then I'll just deal with it as needed."

Allen smiled faintly at that, and turned to say something to Lavi... and found that Lavi had crossed the room and was right in front of him. "Uh..."

Lavi grasped his arm and pulled him to his feet, then pulled him into his arms. "Okay, enough talking." He kissed Allen firmly, and yet with enough reservation to allow him to respond according to his own mood.

Allen's response was enthusiastic; he wrapped his arms around Lavi and leaned into the kiss and the embrace. His right hand strayed up to the headband that held back Lavi's chaotic mop of red hair, pulling it off and allowing the hair to tumble haphazardly into their faces.

"What the hell, Allen?" Lavi said in amusement between kisses. "What was that for?"

"Just because. You don't let it down very often."

"There's a reason for that. It's a pain in the ass!"

"If your hair is a pain in the ass, Lavi, you're doing something wrong!"

"Grr," Lavi growled playfully. "Don't make me bite you!"

They resumed the enthusiastic kiss; it got so rambunctious that Lavi tripped over Allen's feet and they both tumbled onto Allen's narrow bed. Allen let out a strangled yelp as Lavi landed squarely on his chest and force the air out of his lungs.

"Sorry about that, Allen," Lavi said with a laugh as he rolled sideways and bumped up against the wall. "I'm afraid I'm a little uncoordinated when I'm not paying attention."

Allen was more focused on forcing his lungs to function properly. Apparently they didn't like being told what to do, and so resisted working properly after being forced to deflate by the fall. It took about a minute and a half, during which time Lavi stared at him in increasing concern.

"Allen, are you okay?"

"Y...yeah," Allen gasped. "It just knocked the wind out of me. Whew." His chest heaved as he sucked in a deep breath. "I... I don't want to get up."

"We don't both fit here very well, you know," Lavi chuckled. "These beds are _tiny_."

Allen reached up and grabbed onto Lavi's collar. "Stay here anyway. I want you close to me right now."

Lavi looked down at him. "Um... didn't I just get done ranting at you about that kind of attitude?"

"That's not what I mean, Lavi. I'm saying I want you close because... I need you close to me." Allen rolled onto his side and reached out, twining his arms around Lavi's torso. "I love you, and I need you. That's all. I need you."

Lavi surrendered, drawn into the embrace and allowing himself to become intoxicated by Allen's kiss. It was all so heady, really. This young white-haired phenomenon had captured the Bookman's attention long ago, when Hevlaska had made the prediction about a "Destroyer of Time," and now here he was, entangled in an intimate embrace with this self-same Destroyer, falling ever deeper in love as time passed. It was absolutely surreal.

While most of him focused on Allen, the small part of his mind devoted to being a Bookman continued to analyze the situation. It didn't make sense -- Lavi had always found girls and women to be the more attractive gender persuasion. So why was this white-haired, distinctly unfeminine boy the one who had captured his fancy and his heart? Oh sure, Lavi talked tough and assertively, but when it came down to _facta non verba_ , Allen was the truly masculine one. Allen was the one who had saved everyone.

This bothered Lavi to some degree. He didn't much like being emasculated.

Finally, his interest in Allen overrode his irritation and he sank into the warmth of Allen's embrace.

Some short time later, when their frantic make-out session had subsided and devolved to them just laying companionably upon the narrow bed, Allen chuckled out of the blue.

"Ace of spades, huh?"

"What?" Lavi blinked. "What was that?"

"Earlier, you said to Kanda that you like the ace of spades. That's kind of surprising. Knowing you and your penchant for being hot-blooded, I'd have figured you'd like the ace of hearts, or maybe the ace of diamonds."

"What, because of my red hair? You're going to make fun of it too? Like you have any room to make fun of the color of someone's hair, Beansprout!"

Allen laughed and nestled his head against Lavi's shoulder. "Well, why the ace of spades?"

"Actually, you have something to do with my affinity for that."

"I do?"

Lavi grinned and spontaneously dropped a tender kiss onto Allen's forehead, right on the dark red inverted star of the curse mark. "Remember that forest where you fought with Tyki Mikk? When we got there, there was only a bloodstain on the ground and a single playing card, the ace of spades."

"Oh yeah, I remember vaguely that after I had Tim escape, Tyki punched a hole in my heart with those freakish butterflies, and as he was leaving, he found my pack of cards and scattered them over me. I don't remember anything solid after that, just the moon coming closer and closer to me. And... and a freakish dream."

Lavi yawned. "I still have the card, if you're wondering. You have a full set though, I've seen you playing solitaire with it, so that's why I never gave it back. At the time, I felt it was the only thing I had left of you when you disappeared on us, that's why I kept it in the first place. I think that's when I started to realize how precious to me you had become; I wasn't about to admit it to myself, but in retrospect, I think that's where it started."

Allen's stomach started making noise. "Mmm. I'm hungry."

"What, again?" Lavi grumbled as he sat up. "Good grief, Allen. You're really a bottomless pit."

"And this surprises you?" Allen stood up, and as he did, Timcanpy came tumbling out of his coat. As the golem bounced on the floor and looked up at him, clearly annoyed, Allen stared at it. "Tim! What the hell, have you been there the whole time?"

"It does look a bit rumpled," Lavi said as he too stood up, straightening his coat. "I guess it hasn't seen us much these past two weeks. Maybe now it'll learn, though."

Allen picked up the golem and set it on his shoulder. "Sorry about that, Tim, I didn't realize you had crawled into my coat."

Lavi picked up his rumpled scarf from the ground and twirled it around his neck. "Let's go get you fed, Allen, before that stomach drives me insane." He reached for the door knob, but he paused. A playful smile spread across his face. "Ah, one more for the road, okay?"

"Huh?"

Lavi reached over, hooked his hand behind Allen's head and pulled him close, kissing him tenderly. "That'll do, I suppose. I swear, I can't get enough of you."

"Well, don't overdo it," Allen said with a smile. "I'd hate for you to get tired of it."

"I don't think you have to worry about that!" Lavi pulled the door open, and they stepped out into the hall, into the middle of chaos. Lavi very nearly walked right into Froi Tiedoll.

"G-General Tiedoll!" Allen gaped. "What... why are you here?"

"As dumb as you are, stupid apprentice, I don't remember you being _this_ much of an idiot," Cross retorted. Allen instantly bristled. Lavi put a hand on Allen's shoulder, silently reminding him to control his temper.

"Now, now, Marian," Tiedoll said benignly. "He looks like he just woke up."

"My ass he just woke up," Cross muttered.

"I'm just so grateful that Bookman showed up when he did," Lenalee said softly from where she stood next to Klaud Nine, another General. "Krory would have probably been lost." Her shoulders shook as she held in a sob.

"I think he's tougher than that, Lenalee," General Klaud said gently as her little monkey chirped in concern at Lenalee. "He was in worse shape coming back from the Ark."

"But he wasn't even breathing!"

"He'll be all right, Lenalee," Tiedoll said optimistically as Allen and Lavi wound their way through the throng, heading for the cafeteria. "Arystar is in capable hands."

Allen hesitated. "Krory's okay, right?" He looked over at Komui, who was fiddling with a wireless golem.

"Hardly 'okay,' but still alive."

"What are you doing, Komui?" Lavi's brow furrowed.

"Trying to contact General Socalo. He should be here any time."

"Oh crap!" Allen's jaw dropped open. "I forgot I was supposed to teleconference with him!"

"No need," Komui said, "we're in an emergency. Speaking of which... Allen, is that Ark completely disconnected from the Earl's new Ark? We may have to use it to evacuate."

Allen blinked rapidly. "I'm not sure. I think it is. If we don't stay in it too long, if we just use it as a transport device, it should be okay."

"I'll probably have to ask you to open it up soon. But if you're heading for the cafeteria, I won't interrupt you just yet."

Lavi looked pensive and turned to Allen; "I'm going to check on Gramps and Kro-chan. I'll meet you in the cafeteria."

Allen started to protest, but Lenalee intervened; "Allen, I think I'm going to go get something to eat too; I'll join you, if you'd like."

"Um, sure," the white-haired Exorcist said finally. He looked over at Lavi, but the redhead was already trotting down the hallway toward the medic ward.

Lenalee grabbed Allen's arm and clung to it, as if for support. "I'm scared, Allen. I'm afraid Krory will die. I don't want to lose any more of my family!"

"This isn't the Lenalee I know," Allen said gently, covering her hand with his. "The Lenalee I know wouldn't be scared, she'd just be hopeful. We're all going to get through this together, aren't we?"

They arrived in the cafeteria, and saw that Miranda was sitting at a table near the kitchens. Catherine was sitting next to her, as was Chaozii Han, a new Exorcist who was apprenticed to General Tiedoll. They both appeared to be trying to cheer Miranda up, but Miranda looked so forlorn that it wasn't working.

Allen went to place his order with Jeryy, while Lenalee went and sat down next to Miranda, giving the older woman a big hug. When Allen returned with some of the order, a huge bowl of steamed rice and a plate of baked pork, he set it down in the center of the table and pulled up a seat across the table from Miranda.

"Miranda, what's wrong? Why are you so upset?"

"If only I was stronger, he wouldn't be in such bad shape. He'll surely hate me for this now!"

"Krory doesn't hate anyone, does he? I mean, aside from our enemies, of course," Chaozii looked over at Allen as he spoke.

"Not to my knowledge, no," Allen replied. "He couldn't hate you, Miranda. He's not a hateful man, and you're a comrade in arms. I don't even know that he _hates_ the Earl or the Noah. It's more like a duty to defeat them than a hatred of them."

Lenalee dished some of the rice into a bowl and started eating. "Miranda, Krory would never hate you. How could you think that of him? He's so gentle!"

Miranda took several deep breaths before she finally spoke; "I just don't want to lose his regard; it means so much to me to have him consider me an equal."

"Earlier, Miranda, you spoke of not letting someone else you love die because of your Innocence," Catherine added hesitantly. "Who has died because of your Innocence? Someone you loved?"

"I thought Lady Anita's ship was the first time you did that with your Innocence where you couldn't save everyone?" Chaozii tilted his head in inquiry.

Miranda turned red; "I didn't mean _that_!" She said quickly. A little too quickly. Allen and Lenalee exchanged looks across the table.

"Miranda..." Lenalee said gently. "Do you... do you have feelings for Krory?"

"Ah, no, of course not! I mean, he's my friend and all, but... no, no, I'm fine, really, he's just a friend to me."

Allen could've sworn he was in the old fairy tale Pinocchio -- he could have sworn Miranda's nose just grew. That lie was _so obvious!_

"Mmm, I smell good food!" Lavi said as he entered the cafeteria and strode meaningfully over to the table they were sitting at. "Jerry's the best there is, isn't he? He loves it when there are parasitics around." He promptly dished up some pork and rice and tucked in, before even sitting down next to Allen.

"Miranda," Allen said finally. "You love Krory, don't you. I can see it in your expression. He's more than 'just a friend' to you."

Miranda turned beet red and sputtered.

"Miranda and Kro-chan? Aww, I can see it. It'd be cute!" Lavi paused and looked Miranda over appraisingly. "You'd be good for him, Miranda. He's so focused on that Eliade, that I think he forgets that he's alive."

Chaoji stared at the redhead; "Are you serious?"

"I'm always serious."

"I think Miranda deserves better than to be second-best to a vampire's dead girlfriend!"

"Oh, I forgot," Lavi said, before anyone else could react, "you're the one who won't forgive someone for showing human weakness and human compassion. People can't make mistakes around you, least of all Exorcists. I'd forgotten. Thanks for reminding me. You shouldn't even be sitting at the table with the likes of Allen, you know. He saved your ungrateful ass inside that Ark, and you still won't forgive him."

If looks could kill, maim or wound, Chaozii's glare at Lavi would have been lethal.

Allen waved a hand quickly; "Come on, you guys, let's not fight. And Lavi, don't forget that Eliade is Krory's reason for living as he does. She was his entire world. He's said that he had a vision of her coming to him when he was about to die inside the Ark, and she gave him the strength to go on and to defeat that Noah." Allen looked over at Chaozii. "You never met Eliade, never saw how deeply he loved her. You shouldn't judge her. She wasn't just a girlfriend to him. She was everything in the world to him. And she died by his own hands, because she was an Akuma. He wanted to die with her, but chose to live as an Exorcist for her sake."

Chaozii's jaw fell open; "He _loved_ an Akuma?!"

"Yes."

"He just fell in my esteem."

"I'm sure that wounds him deeply," Lavi said bitterly.

"Not everyone harbors such deep hatred for Akuma, Chaozii," Lenalee said finally.

"Hasn't General Tiedoll explained to you how they are created? They aren't in control of their own wills. Akuma are nothing more than an exploited tragedy." Allen sighed. "You can't see their souls and see how much they suffer, of course, but you should know that they're born of tragedy."

"If you hate Akuma so much, why did you tolerate Chomesuke?" Lavi added sharply. "You didn't seem to mind Chomesuke. She was an Akuma too. Just not one that was dangerous to us. But she was still an Akuma, and she was still vulnerable to Innocence."

Allen blinked; "Chomesuke?"

"Forget it, Allen," Lenalee said hastily, glaring at Lavi, who looked shocked that he'd spoken. They'd agreed before not to tell Allen about Chomesuke, because the knowledge that his master had modified Akuma and had built in the self-destruct elimination program into them would probably enflame Allen to the point of irrationality.

Jeryy arrived then, hand-delivering a huge tray full of food. This worked as a sufficient distraction for Allen. Lavi turned to Miranda; "Kro-chan is relatively stable. It's a good thing Gramps arrived when he did. The damage to Kro-chan's internal organs is apparently pretty high, but Gramps has got some pretty amazing acupuncture knowledge and he's able to ease the tension. But there's nothing to be afraid of; the old panda will take good care of him. And he did wake up a little bit, and told me to give you a message."

Miranda stiffened.

"He said to tell you 'thank you.' He appreciates the lengths you went to in order to protect him."

Miranda tried her best, but invariably broke down into sobs, her shoulders shaking violently as she did. Lenalee hugged her in sympathy, and Lavi patted her hand. Allen and Catherine just sat in silence, offering their moral support. Chaozii, disgusted and embarrassed, left without another word.

About that time, Reever came into the room and announced that they would be evacuating the hideout, that everyone was to pack up their belongings and be ready to flee at a moment's notice. Lenalee and Catherine both assured Allen and Lavi that they'd take good care of Miranda.

With other Generals in residence, it alleviated Allen of his quasi-General duties, and now that they were getting ready to leave, Lavi didn't need to do patrols. Thus, Allen gathered up his finished food dishes and the two of them went back to their room. Allen sat on his bed and resumed eating -- and feeding Timcanpy, who had decided to assert its hunger -- while Lavi set to work packing things up for the both of them.

"I wonder if Komui will let us room together again? I hope so, since this is the only place we can... you know, be more than just friends."

"Does he even know about us?" Lavi grunted as he hefted the bed frame of his bed to dig something out from underneath it. (Lavi was appallingly disorganized, for a Bookman. Allen was amazed at just how sloppy the redhead could really be!)

"Well, he's not an idiot, Lavi; he's quite perceptive. But yes, he does know anyway. It's not like that's something I could keep from him."

"I'm aware of the fact that he didn't get his position by being an Exorcist's sibling. I'm smarter than I look, Allen!"

Allen grinned. "Yes, Komui knows about us. I told him at the first chance I had. He was wondering anyway, given our squabble when we first arrived here."

"Hmm, then I figure he'll probably cut us some slack. If not, we can probably get the old panda to come to our side for it. He's the one who told us to be discreet, after all. And the closer we get to the Vatican, the more careful we'll have to be."

"Mmm," Allen murmured as Timcanpy crawled up his arm and perched on his shoulder. "As long as I get some time alone with you, I don't mind."

"I kind of hope that Kro-chan comes around to Miranda. He deserves to be happy, you know?"

"So does Miranda," Allen said. "But I don't think it's going to happen, Lavi. I think that Eliade's sacrifice drives Krory as much as my dedication to saving Akuma drives me."

"Well, I can hope," Lavi said as he closed up the suitcase. "I guess it's because I'm so happy with you, that I want my friends to be just as happy."

Unexpectedly, Allen felt tears prickle his eyes at the sentiment. He quickly dashed them away, set aside the food he was working his way through, and got up. Lavi looked at him askance, and Allen just shook his head as he approached and wrapped his arms around him. "What you just said made me so happy I want to cry, and yet... oh never mind. I just love you so much, Lavi."

Lavi embraced him, holding him tenderly. "I love you too, Allen. I gave you my heart, and I don't need it back. I'd rather you kept it for me."

**Author's Note:**

> This particular story is somewhat heavy in Latin and some French. Why? Because I like the Latin language (even if it confuses the hell out of me!) and wanted to try it out, and the story takes place initially in Nice, France.  
> "Aqua Vitae" ("Water of Life"): technically, this is a term for certain distillations of alcohol, but I chose the literal term for Catherine's Innocence. "Eau de vie" is a French expression meaning water of life. That would be why Catherine initially suggests the name should be "Eau de Vie."  
> "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam" ("Therefore, I conclude that Carthage must be destroyed"): Cato the Elder used to end every speech of his to the Senate, on any subject whatsoever, with this phrase. It is usually used to indicate that someone habitually harps on one subject, but in Allen's case, he's bored with his report and is testing to see if Komui notices the comment. (Source: wikiquote "Latin Proverbs")  
> "Facta Non Verba" ("Deeds Not Words"): This generally means that "actions speak louder than words" but here I'm using it kind of literally. As in, Allen's actions are stronger than Lavi's speech patterns.  
> "Deo Volente" ("God Willing"): This carries the connotation of hopefulness of God's goodwill. This was often used in conjunction with a signature at the end of letters. (Basically, in place of "Sincerely"). However, in this case, I'm using it in a more literal sense -- as in "With God's goodwill, we will succeed." Remember that Exorcists are considered to be Apostles of God, Chosen by God, wielding God's Crystal. It's no accident or coincidence that they have crosses on their uniforms.


End file.
